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3 Reasons Not To Join a Gym in 2014

3 Reasons Not To Join a Gym in 2014

Gym membership goes through the roof in January as we all delude ourselves that this will be the year when we magically feel like doing 60 minutes on the cross trainer rather than 3 hours in the local pub after work. But lets face it – it never works. We sign up for huge gym membership fees, chaining ourselves to monthly direct debits of up to £70 a month for the privilege of going, what, maybe once? Twice? If you’ve been there before and you know that the gym is not for you, here’s three alternatives to the gym that may be just what you need to get into shape.

Boxing

Instead of faffing about on a treadmill or flapping your arms about on a pec dec why not sign up for a proper, real sport like boxing? Boxing isn’t just an incredible cardio workout, it conditions the entire body, and improves endurance fitness through providing a high intensity, calorie smashing workout. Best of all, however, boxing will make you feel like Rocky. Picture yourself, running up the steps your local town hall, wearing a red bandana, hands taped, and a cool grey marl tracksuit. Join a boxing club, get in the ring, and remember, ‘Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.’

 

Yoga

Before you crack up in hysterics or start tutting indignantly at the suggestion of yoga as a viable alternative to the gym this year, listen very carefully to these two words: RUSSELL BRAND. Love him or loathe him, you can’t deny that Russell Brand is one of the most desired men in the UK right now. Pretty much all women love him (and a fair few blokes!). Whilst his infinite attractiveness to the opposite sex may forever be a mystery to men, I’m willing to wager that his self-confessed passion for contorting his body into all sorts of crazy positions and breathing deeply for hours on end is at least part of his appeal. Signing up for yoga classes in 2014 has more to recommend it than merely tapping into some of the Brand appeal however. In yoga classes, (gorgeous, supple) women outnumber the men by about 20 to 1. As the only guy in the class you could find yourself surrounded by 20 women who all think you’re dead deep and spiritual and have loads of stamina. Just sayin’…

 

Hashing

When I first heard of hashing I knew it was my sort of sport, as it combines beer drinking with exercise. It is basically an adult version of the kids game Hare and Hounds. One runner is the ‘hare’, who is chased through the town, city or village by the ‘hounds’ – his mates. The hare leaves a trail of coloured flour or paper and the hounds stay in close pursuit, using horns and calls such as ‘On! On!’ to show they’re on the right track. The chase leads, as all roads eventually do, to the pub, where everyone rewards themselves for running several miles at high speed with a nice pint of ice cold beer (or 5). Best. Sport. Ever.

 

Whatever sport you decide to take up this year you’ll need a sharp bit of kit to wear. Get yourself some decent joggers – Original Penguin and UCLA Clothing do some super smart and comfy ones – and a good hoodie – I am loving this one from Franklin & Marshall, team with some nice trainers and get going. And just think how much more cash you’ll have to spend at Standout.net without all those wasted gym fees!!!

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